How not to fall in love with Ace Rimmer
by littlelizzie
Summary: yes, its possible not to fall in love with him. Please read and review so i can write more! The ending will come when i've time to write it!
1. Prolouge

Beksa's Story  
  
Prologue  
  
Bongo sat in his red walled office. He flipped through the report on the last Space Corps mission. He chucked it in a draw to finish later, because Kayleigh had just come into the office with some more files. "I've got a report on a new Space Corps recruit. Take a look, you will be surprised" Kayleigh placed the red file on the desk, and walked out. Bongo gazed after her, but then remembered her boyfriend Spanners, so promptly forgot about what he was thinking and he picked up the file - before realising that Ace Rimmer had walked in.  
  
"Morning Bongo! Are you busy? I need to discuss a few things with you." Ace flopped down in the chair by the desk and picked up the red file that Kayleigh had brought in. He opened it, and saw the face of a girl staring back at him. He closed it again, and stood up. "Bongo, about the latest mission to come up for me. I need a new technician for the crew; McGregor is off with measles, is there anyone I can have? They will be first class of course" Bongo flipped through the file of personnel but found nothing "Nothing Ace, no personnel available for this mission, what are you going to do?" Kayleigh buzzed into the office "A new crewman is here to see you sir, shall I send her through?" "Send her in Kayleigh, lets chat to her" Bongo replied and glanced at Ace, and the door opened.  
  
A tall, good-looking girl walked in. She was wearing the standard green uniform and had shoulder length brown hair. It looked as though she had an angelic glow around her, and she stopped in front of the desk, with light streaking in from the window on the far side of the office. She had light- tanned skin, and she spoke to Bongo. "Hello, you must be Peter Tranter. My name is Beksa Riley, I'm 26 years old, and I lived on Io for all my life. I was posted to Jupiter from Io base two weeks ago." She said. Ace stood there, hardly believing what he saw in front of him. This was more than he expected from a new recruit. She had a perfect round face, and looked very clever. For an Ionian, this was more than average.  
  
Ace stepped forward and held out his hand. "Hello. My name is Ace Rimmer," She shook his hand, and smiled at him "You look like a smart kid, I'm taking a crew out next month to sort out a violent war on a distant planet, I need a senior officer for my crew," Beksa unclasped her hand, and held it up signalling him to stop "and you want me to be that senior officer yes?" She raised an eyebrow at him questioningly, and he nodded. "Well, I don't know. Hadn't you better ask your superior first?"  
  
Ace smiled. She was toying around with him, worming him round her little finger "She knows how to act when she's faced with a guy like me" he thought, and kissed the top of her hand "I am the commanding officer, do I need to ask myself?" She grinned. They were going to get along just fine. 


	2. Rimmer's Dream

Chapter 1  
  
Arnold J Rimmer was lying on his bunk, listening to a song. A song that seemed like so little, but to him, it was more powerful than anything. It told of someone wanted 'Someone to Watch Over Me' and it was his song. He had decided years ago that when he found the right girl, this would be their song. A tear came to Rimmer's eye. "Off!" He said, and while Holly obeyed, he strode out of the room, and went to his dream recorder. He wanted to check over a dream he'd had the other night.  
  
It was a very strange dream. He dreamt that he was in a courtroom, and there was a girl standing in the dock. She was quite tall, with long brown hair, and un-nervingly pretty. This seemed perfectly normal. He had lots of dreams about people like this, but the un-normal part about the dream was that his alter ego, Ace Rimmer was standing giving evidence against her. He couldn't hear what was being said, but what Ace was saying was making streams of tears fall down the girls face. Rimmer wanted to stop the girl from crying, but when he tried to stand, something pulled him back down, as though he wasn't allowed to witness this. When he woke up, he had thought nothing of it, and went back to sleep. 


	3. Chatting her up

Chapter 2  
  
"Hello? Beksa Riley speaking?" "Heya Bek', its Ace. How are you today?" Beksa sighed. Ace was a cool guy, but his ego was bigger than the other guys she'd dated, and she HATED guys with egos the size of a small African country. "Hello Ace. I'm mildly annoyed. It's 8:30 in the morning, please don't buzz me at this time." she said firmly, but kindly. "Look, Beksa. Have you thought anymore on that position I offered you? You would be wise to accept it as soon as possible, or another lass will get it. And that's not what I want" "Ace, I don't accept mission offers JUST because the commanding officer has a schoolboy crush on me. I don't sink that low" "What gave you that impression?" "You suck up to me, insist I come on your mission, make me sick with all the letters you've been sending me sprayed with something that smells like Lynx deodorant AND you go gooey when you hear my voice. Is that enough?" "OK, so maybe I do. But you are a good girl, and I think that you should come on my mission," Ace didn't understand why she was resisting him. "You only want me to come so you can make love to me!" Beksa found herself yelling down the phone "I'm not a slut ok? Maybe I don't want to be on this mission because I have other arrangements! And who in their right minds would have a crush on a stupid smegger like you!!" She slammed the phone down and crashed back on her bed. She was shaking from yelling. Ace had seemed so nice when they first met. Now Beksa realised that he was a love mad gimboid with a lower IQ than a rotten apple. She would never sink to his level. 


	4. Driving lessons

Chapter 3  
  
"KRYTEN! TRY STEERING NEXT TIME YOU SON OF A SMEGGER!" Lister screamed. Kryten leapt for the controls, trying to avoid a major collision. Kochanski threw herself under the nearest desk, and cowered there. "I knew you shouldn't let Kryten steer this contraption, I knew it!" Krissie squeaked, as the craft tipped from side to side, throwing all manner of junk around the room. A coffee mug flew past her, and smashed into thousand of pieces, with a large bit flying into her arm. She swore loudly, and ripped a bit of t-shirt to stop blood from flying around, tried standing up again with limited success, and flopped to the floor again, crashing into The Cat who had just come through the door. "Pause" He said calmly, and the commotion around him froze. "Oi! Computer, am I still looking good?" he asked. Holly replied in a monotone "Yes Cat" and unfroze the scene around the Cat. The roar of the ship started up again, then sudden silence, then a groan from his crewmates. Lister gave him a murderous look  
  
"Caaaat, we told you not to pause the game, or it will crash. We were doing really well! I would have got into the high score list if you hadn't interrupted. Thanks a lot." Lister groaned, as he tried to get his head back into shape again. He'd wacked his head on something and it killed his head. The Cat gave him a catty look back, and handed Lister a videotape.  
  
"I found this on the dream recorder. It's a dream that goal-post head had the other night. It's very strange. He may not be all we see." He said quietly. Lister put the tape in the slot on the far wall, and told Holly to play it. And before their eyes, they saw Rimmer's dream about the courtroom.  
  
When it had finished, Krissie broke the stunned silence by clearing her throat and said "Well, this is a turn up isn't it? Rimmer dreaming of a courtroom case of his alter ego? Why would he do that?" "And who was that girl?" Lister said eagerly "'Cos she was niiiice" Krissie shot him a look, and he shut up. The Cat took the tape, and placed it on the table. "When did Mister Rimmer dream this dream?" Kryten said, while repairing himself from the violence of the game. Holly was about to reply when the accused walked in. 


	5. What really happened

Chapter 4  
  
Beksa dragged herself out of bed, and crawled over to the mirror. Her face was streaked with black lines from her make-up, her hair looked like it had been charged with electricity, and her eyes were puffy. She splashed her face with water, turned around, and screamed.  
  
"What the hell? Why are YOU here?" She screamed, and ran forward to hit Ace Rimmer. He was leaning against a wall on the far side of the room, wearing a dressing gown, with a smug look on his face. He didn't stop her from hitting him, she whacked him one and he fell to the floor. He pulled himself back up again, wiping the blood from his mouth. Beksa had a look of murder on her face, and Ace was sure that she was still drunk from the night before.  
  
"Why can't you just leave me alone? I hate you Ace Rimmer! Now get out before I hit you again, only harder this time!" She growled at him. Ace grinned, and grabbed her arm. Beksa held her fist to his face, but he did nothing. "Leave, NOW" She spat at him, and still, he did nothing. But then, he pulled her close, and kissed her.  
  
Beksa's head was screaming, she dragged herself away, and stood flat against a wall. She was shaking with fear. Why had he done this? Why hadn't he got the message? Did he really love her that much? She stared into his eyes; his love-sickness was on an all time high. He moved towards her, but stopped again when her phone rang.  
  
She picked it up, not breaking eye contact with Ace "Hello? Beksa Riley speaking" Ace sat down on the bed, and wiped more blood from his mouth. "Yes Bongo, he's here, I'll hand him over." She handed the phone to Ace, and ran into the bathroom.  
  
She leaned against the locked door, and held her head in her hands. She pounded her head, trying to remember what she had been doing yesterday. She'd spoken to Ace on the phone, and agreed to go to dinner with him to talk over the mission, then it was all a blur until she'd got up that morning. She pressed her ear to the door, and listened to what Ace was saying.  
  
"Yes, she was with me last night. Why?" "She was needed! I needed her as well, for reasons that I'm not going to divulge in now. What was she needed for?" "Bongo, I told you. Never disturb me after 7:30. That's my personal time"  
  
The fog in Beksa's brain suddenly cleared, and she collapsed out cold on the floor. 


	6. Watching the dream

Chapter 5  
  
Rimmer stared at his friends, and wondered why they were looking at him like that. "And, you are staring bog-eyed at me for what reason?" he asked. Lister grinned, and ran out of the room. Krissie and The Cat followed suit, leaving only Kryten standing there. "Ermm, Sir?" Kryten stuttered. Rimmer breathed in and counted to 10, then spoke; "Kryten, why were you and the others staring at me? Have I done something wrong?" Rimmer spotted the videotape on the table, and picked it up. "What's this Krytie? A movie? Lets watch it shall we?" Rimmer placed the tape in the slot, and Holly played it.  
  
When it had finished, Rimmer turned towards Kryten with the most annoyed look he could muster. "How did you get this Kryten?" He said calmly. He hadn't wanted anyone to get hold of it and look. It was personal stuff, and no one apart from him was to know about it. "But Sir! I never found this, it was The Cat who found it, and he showed it to us!" Rimmer was outraged "US? Everyone else watched it as well?!" And he stormed out of the room, leaving Kryten looking bewildered.  
  
The fog in Beksa's eyes cleared, and she sat up. She heard a banging at the door, and groaned. She could hear Ace calling her. She stood up, and checked that the door was locked, which it was.  
  
"Beksa! Are you in there!" Ace was banging and yelling her name "I'm here, I don't know why you are here though," "I need to tell you something, its important!" "I know what you want to tell me, you want to tell what you did to me last night, that's what. You took me out, got me drunk, and slept with me. I thought someone like you wouldn't do that sort of thing." Ace went silent for a moment "It's only because I like you so much, and I had to. I'm sorry. I never felt like this before, please forgive me Beksa!"  
  
Beksa decided she didn't want to listen to Ace rabbiting on. Ace stood outside the bathroom, spilling his heart out to Beksa. But he hadn't realised that Beksa had climbed out of the bathroom window, cursing to herself as she went. She was going to find someway to get away from him. 


	7. Leaving the planet

Chapter 6  
  
"Bongo please, you have to get him out of here. He is following me like a little puppy, and I'm assuming that he told you what he did to me!" Beksa screamed at Bongo down the telephone. She was trying not to draw attention to herself on the grounds that she was standing in the middle of Mimas in her pyjamas yelling down a public telephone. She felt that if people saw her like this, her reputation of a well-respected test pilot would drop considerably. "I'm sorry Beksa, but I can't chuck Ace out, he is our best guy, and his contract with 'Hello!' magazine doesn't run out for at least five more years" Bongo was trying to stay calm. He couldn't let Beksa make him chuck Ace out, he really couldn't. "Tranter, please. I really hate him, if you don't get rid of him then I'll just have to leave, or get transferred again. And I've only been here a week. That's not good is it!" and she slammed down the phone.  
  
*****A while later*****  
  
Beksa pulled her wardrobe door open and grabbed some comfy clothes, shoving them into a bag. She'd decided that she wouldn't need much where she was going. She left a message on her answer phone explaining where she was, and left her key under her pillow. She wasn't going to come back here - ever if time allowed.  
  
She arrived at the Space Corps Building just as Ace arrived. He spotted her, and followed her to the ship depot. He hid behind a bin, and watched her carefully. He saw her walking around looking at the ships in the yard. This seemed normal for her, she liked wandering around here. Beksa wandered round the back of one of the ships, and she disappeared. Ace decided that he would just leave her be. She wasn't doing any harm. But then, she did something that made him gasp. He saw that she had climbed up into his very own personal ship 'Wildfire III' and turned on the engine. Making everyone stop and stare. Ace looked up and saw Bongo looking out of his window. "Why was she doing this?" Ace asked himself "She could've asked and I'd have taken her out for a spin and I would have done. What is she doing?"  
  
Beksa had found the perfect ship. Ace refused to fly any other ship other than Wildfire. She looked out of the window and saw Ace. Switching on the radio communication, she sent one final message to the Space Corps - "Don't bother with the kipper, I'm not back for breakfast or any other meal!" and flipped a finger at Ace. He watched her take off, and sail into the sky, with all his possetions on board.  
  
Beksa looked back at the Earth, totally ignoring the incoming transmission from Bongo, and switched on hyper-drive. Flattened back in her seat, she watched the universe zoom past her, and she entered another Dimension.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED! 


	8. New Begginings

Chapter 7  
  
Rimmer's head lolled back in his seat. He'd been sitting at the control panel in Starbug's cockpit for at least 2 hours, and he didn't appreciate getting up in the middle of the night, even if The Cat was insisting on having a bath - at 3am? The one-hour-to-shift-change alarm clanged, and he woke up with a start. He franticly checked around for anything unusual, and to his surprise spotted another ship. "Kryten, I've found something that may interest you!" He yelled to the mechanoid in the room next door. Kryten came trudging, and looked at the screen that Rimmer was pointing at. Kryten looked confused. He put the question through his thinking circuits, and came to an answer that he didn't like.  
  
A few hours later, the ship had come closer, and the rest of the crew were up. Lister sloped back in his chair and sipped some coffee. "Rimmer, you are out of you head. Ace Rimmer can't have come back, the last Ace Rimmer was you from before Red Dwarf got resurrected. Why would he come back?" "Maybe because he's looking for another Arnold Rimmer to take over? I don't know!" Rimmer didn't like the idea of Ace Rimmer coming back. He wasn't all that keen on his alter ego. Too bigheaded and arrogant for his liking. The screen next to him started bleeping, and Rimmer shut it up. "Well, we are now in communication range. Shall we speak to the son-of-a-goit then?" He didn't wait for their answer, and he opened a channel.  
  
"This is Captain Rimmer of the Jupiter Mining Corporation Transport Vessel Starbug. Now listen carefully, 'cos I'm not repeating myself," Rimmer spoke clearly down the microphone. The crew took a deep breath, they knew what was coming. "Ace, you are a smeghead. You cruise around making friends with people, and then leave you duties to someone else, preferably yourself!" Rimmer yelled down the microphone, taking everyone by surprise. "Thank you for listening asshole." And shut off the channel.  
  
He looked around at the others. Krissie and The Cat had both raised an eyebrow at him, and Lister was smirking at him. Rimmer was about to retaliate, when a message came back:  
  
"Alright Rimmer," Beksa yelled back at them, "I can see that you don't want me to ask you this, but I've been through a lot in the last week, and I'm not good at piloting space crafts. My hyper-drive broke when I crossed the Omni-Zone, the mechano-model of a ship keeps veering off coarse, I discovered that my mobile doesn't work outside the planet AND I found out who was stalking me. It seems to be your little friend called Ace Rimmer. He took advantage of me, and I on the run from certain Space Corps folk, so please GIMME A BREAK!"  
  
The crew were stunned into silence, not knowing how to reply. She put through a picture channel, and the crew saw her face. Rimmer stared back, unable to believe who was on the screen. "Well?" Beksa asked, losing her patience, "Am I allowed on board or not?" Rimmer snapped out of his trance, and opened the cargo-bay door. "We'll meet you down there Miss.?" "Beksa, Beksa Riley" and she cut off the channel. 


	9. Promises

Chapter 8  
  
The hatchway hissed open, and Beksa walked down the ramp. At the bottom, she met the man she had talked to. Arnold J Rimmer. She looked him up and down, and looked him straight in the eye. She didn't know why she felt this, but she saw Rimmer as something else. She knew that he and Ace were identical, but somehow, this Rimmer seemed different. She stuck her hand out for him to shake. "Beksa Riley, Engineer - 1st Class, and you?" She smiled at him, and he smiled stiffly back. "Arnold J Rimmer, J for Jonathon, BsC SsC, acting captain of this vessel, may I show you around?" Rimmer took her arm, signalled to Lister and Krissie to grab her bags, and strode out of the door with Beksa.  
  
Lister and Krissie looked at them, Lister couldn't stop smirking at what Rimmer had said to her. "She's gonna get a pleasant surprise when she finds out the truth. A very big surprise." Lister said, and he picked up the bag. Krissie stood and smiled. "Well I think they are going to get along fine. I looked at her record. She worked with Ace Rimmer, I think she'll take a liking to him." She grinned, and followed Lister out of the room.  
  
Beksa walked around Starbug, listening to everything that Rimmer said. She was thinking through her options for the future. She couldn't stay here for long, if Ace was going to follow her, she couldn't lead him here. Especially if this Rimmer didn't like his counterpart in her universe. She listened to his voice, and smiled. He looked down at her, and grinned again. She liked this guy; she liked this guy a lot more than Ace!  
  
After the tour of Starbug, Rimmer took her into his quarters. She sat down at the table and looked around. Rimmer sat down on his bunk, and busied himself with tidying the space around him. After a while, he looked up at her. She was looking at him with her head on one side. Rimmer coughed slightly and she looked away. Rimmer decided that this was a good time to make conversation. "So," Rimmer stuttered "Erm, why did you come to Red Dwarf?" He wanted to know why she was in such a bad mood when she'd arrived. Beksa's head drooped, and she stood up. She sat down again next to Rimmer, and sighed. "It's a long story. I'll explain it the best I can. I joined the Space Corps and was stationed on Io. I met this guy called Ace Rimmer. I had heard lots of good things about him, and wanted to meet him. But when I did, I regretted it. He followed me around, he even took advantage of me, and so I had to leave. I tried to get him court-martialled, but when I was in court he said all sorts of shit about me, so I ran, took his ship, and left Io. The Space Corps are probably combing the known galaxy looking for me. That's why I don't want to stay here long. I don't want to get your ship in trouble for hiding me. So I'm going in a few days," She wiped a tear from her eye, and dropped her head in her hands.  
  
Rimmer was shocked at this. He thought that Ace would never do such a thing. Ok, Ace was a bit mad when it came to women, but he's a guy, he couldn't help it. He put an arm around Beksa, expecting her to wriggle away, but she rested her head on his arm, and sobbed a little.  
  
"You don't have to leave, we can help you," Rimmer said suddenly. Beksa looked at him, and shook her head. "I can't do that. If the Corps find me, then you will get in trouble for hiding me. I'm on the run, I gotta keep moving." "Please, stay. I like you; you're a cool person. And we need another lady round here, mainly to keep Kris happy, spending 5 years with a bunch of guys surely can't be good for her. We wont be like Ace, promise!" He grinned at her. "Ok, I'll stay, but if the Corps come, I'm off," 


End file.
